Lisa:
Hey, what are you hiding
Under that funny hair?
I know the lights are on
But there's nobody there
I need a new life
I need a new next of kin
So, I've got news for you
Brother, I'm trading you in...

[Hook:]
Lisa and Back-Up Singers
For anyone else in the world I'd rather have than you
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do

Lisa:
Somebody who'd be a friend in me
Somebody who would care about me
Lisa and Back-Up Singers:
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do

(Bart whistles to get Lisa's attention)
[Bart:]
Hey, Little Miss Perfect
Who made you the queen?
Who said it was cool
To be so squeaky clean?
Aw, man
I need a playmate
Someone who knows how to have some fun
So I've got news for you
Sister, your time has come
Your time has come!
[Hook: Bart and Back-Up Singers]:
Anyone else in the world I'd rather have than you
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do

[Bart:]
Somebody who's got a radical mind
Over the edge and way out of line

[Bart and Back-Up Singers:]
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do

[Lisa:]
Gonna trade you in
Hmmmmmm, yeah
I'm gonna trade you in
You know you're too much to take
You're completely deranged
I'd sell you for a dime
And give nine cents change

[Bart:]
I wouldn't take any money
That's a losing bet
I'd trade you in
For anyone I could get
Lisa:
Anything I could get!

Bart:
Anytime I could get it!

Lisa:
Anywhere I could get it!

[Hook: Bart, Lisa and Back-Up Singers:]
Anyone else in the world I'd rather have than you
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do

Bart:
Somebody who'd be a friend in me

Lisa:
Somebody who would care about me!

[Hook: Bart, Lisa and Back-Up Singers:]
Anyone else in the whole wide world...
Anyone else in the world I'd rather have than you
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do

[Bart:]
Somebody who'd be a friend in me
[Lisa:]
Somebody who would care about me!

[Hook: Bart, Lisa and Back-Up Singers:]
Anyone else in the whole wide world...
Anyone else in the world I'd rather have than you