Kirk: How can a wife understand
What it feels like to finally meet a man
The strongest bond a dude could ever know-woah-oh
A guy to catch a game with
A pal you don't feel lame with
Life began the day I found my bro

Homer: I'm just a normal boozer
Stuck with this lame loser
A dweeb that somehow thinks that I'm his bro-woah-oh
His eyes are small and beedy
Staring oh so needy
How I despise him, he will never know

Kirk: So much cool stuff we can do as a pair
Homer: Everything about him is annoying

Kirk: Dress as minstrels at the renaissance fair
Homer: He smells like fish oil pills

Kirk: Foosball Fridays in my mancave
Homer: That waitress was not into you

Kirk: Designing the world's best Blues Brothers fanpage
Homer: He wants us to co-host an Oscar party, what the hell?
I hate everything about him
This clingy fat nosed jerk
I'm glad he can't...
Kirk: ...wish he could...
Both: ...here me sing...
Homer: ...about this sweaty...
Kirk: ...awesome...
Homer: ...fish oil...
Kirk: ...awesome

Homer: I was only pretending to like that stupid dork named....
Oh hi Kirk...