Zero Mostel
Pretty Little Picture
[PSEUDOLUS]
In the Tiber there sits a boat
Gently dipping its bow
Trim and tidy and built to float
Pretty little picture?
Now

Put a boy on the starboard side
Leaning out of the rail
Next to him put a blushing bride
Slim and slender and starry-eyed
Down below put a tiny bed

The sun gets pale
The sea gets red
And off they sail
On the first high tide
The boat and the bed
And the boy and the bride!

It's a pretty little picture
Oh my!
Pretty little picture
How true!
Pretty little picture
Which I
Pseudo-leudo-lus, give to you!
Feel the roll of the playful waves
See the sails as they swell
Hear the whips on the galley slaves—

[PSEUDOLUS, HERO & PHILIA]
Pretty little picture?

[PSEUDOLUS]
Well
Let it carry your cares away
Out of sight, out of mind
Past the buoy and through the bay—
Soon there's nothing but sea and spray
Night descends and the moon's aglow
Your arms entwined
You steal below
And far behind
At the edge of day
The bong of the bell of the buoy in the bay
And the boy and the bride
And the boat are away!

[HERO & PHILIA]
It's a pretty little picture to share
As our little boat sails to sea
[PSEUDOLUS]
Take your little trip free as air
Have a little freedom on me!!

[HERO & PHILIA]
No worries
No bothers
No captains
No fathers!

[PSEUDOLUS]
In the ocean an island waits
Smooth and sandy and pink
Filled with lemons and nuts and dates

[PSEUDOLUS, HERO & PHILIA]
Pretty little picture?

[PSEUDOLUS]
Think
In a cottage of cypress trees
Seashells dotting the door
Boy and bride live a life of ease

[PSEUDOLUS, HERO & PHILIA]
Doing nothing but what they please
[PSEUDOLUS]
And every night when the stars appear
There's nothing more
To see or hear
Just the shore
Where the lovers lie

[HERO & PHILIA]
The sand and the sea and the stars and the sky

[PSEUDOLUS]
And the sound of a soft little satisfied sigh

[PSEUDOLUS, HERO & PHILIA]
All your (our) petty little problems will cease
And your (our) little blessings will flow
And your (our) little family increase
Pretty little picture?

[PSEUDOLUS]
No, no!

[PSEUDOLUS, HERO & PHILIA]
Pretty little masterpiece!
Pretty little picture!