[Verse 1]
There's some things that I'll take to my grave
There's some things I don't think I should say
I'm don't think that I'm somebody you could save
I don't know, I kinda like it that way
Daddy love to get high
In his room, watch the time go by
Needles all on his bed
I cut it going and I didn't know why
Mamma, she used to cry
20 years by, mamma still cries
Mamma talk suicide
Hate seeing it, but I don't wanna lie
I still need you, I feel like I'm still young
I've been so lost, I've been so gone
I've been so drunk that I can't stand up
I'll be standing with you when the day come
Look at my smile, how does it look to you?
I put it on so I can feel like I'm bulletproof
Product of environment, ah, look at the irony
Grew up so nice but that changed up entirely
I found Benzos' the same time I found love
Like, what a mixer, what a drug
I was eighteen, I was fucked up
Like living in my car, but still untouched
[Verse 2]
They talk about my older ways
Said I'm "fucked up", wasn't raised right, wow
You know you never judge a book by it's cover page
I've been standing [?] my bed
Where my uncle lost his life and died inside mine instead
Yeah, uh
You take a second to picture:
Tenth grade, didn't know how to deal, I turned to liquor
'Nother family member gone, all I knew was a song
Writing bars ain't enough, I pop bars [?] they gone
'Til my homies car crashed, went to jail that night
Woke up, "what the fuck happened?", high as a kite
I called my mom and she ain't answer, she pissed off as fuck
Wish I had a dad to call but I'm shit out of luck
And on top of that, I blew my whole first advance
Which means I got money, blew it all, owe it all back
'Cause my records ain't selling, and I'm too hot for shows
No one believes in my recovery, I've gone as a ghost
Yeah, it's me against the world ain't it?
I love that shit, so I took that bitch and I made it mine
You see, my best friend stole for me, thousands of dollars
When I was down and I was broke, and had nothing to bother
Had a dog that needed feeding, ain't had shit but a collar
And a landlord trying to get money to feed his daughter
Had a dad dying on my hands, asking for help
I went to London, got him off heroin by myself
I took care of my sister, to the best of my abilities
Helping mom through her depression, that shit is killing me
Yeah, but I guess that's just the will in me
Think that I'ma fail after that? Man, you're kidding me
I said yeah man, you're kidding me
Failing after that? Yeah man, you're kidding me
[Outro]
Every moment in my life, came at me with a price
And I never had the cash, but I would always roll the dice
Like, I never thought twice, I was destined for the lights
I look above to my family for a message every night
And I swear, I hear them talk to me, full volume, like the show
Every time that I'm down, I look up and then I know
I said so, that's for sure, but I do this all for you
Myself and my family, that's the funeral crew