[Verse 1]
Please buy the shirts
The shirts are so nice
You'll look stylish
In your Mountain Goats shirt
Ooh ooh ooh

[Verse 2]
People see you walking down the street, they say
Who's that handsome person
In the Mountain Goats shirt?

[Verse 3]
You will seek out your family who you haven't seen in ten years and you're kinda worried how the whole thing's gonna go
And you show up at the door and they say God
It's good to see you
In your Mountain Goats shirt

[Verse 4]
After the College of Cardinals was done voting
And it was announced that Cardinal Ratzinger, who leans rather far right, was gonna be the new Holy Father for better or worse
He could've made a better first impression on the world media
In his Mountain Goats shirt

[Outro]
So if you're lonely
Or shirtless
Stop by the merchandising table and check out Mr. Vanderslice
He's attractive and I hear he's available
And he's got a whole table full of Mountain Goats shirts