There’s a squatter in my flat
My records are all scratched
The cat box is overflowing
I don’t even have a cat
McDonald’s wrappers in the trash

There’s a squatter in my flat
They probably were hoping that I’m never coming back

They ate my bag of mushrooms
And they spent all of my cash!
Boot prints on the sofa
And semen in the sink
Whatever’s in the garbage can is really beginning to stink

I really never should’ve left that key under the mat
I just got home from tour and there’s a squatter in my flat!