[Verse 1]
There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy
But he lived in a cage the size of his thumb
And, though his white horse was a box of toothpicks
He galloped around until hit by a car

And sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird
Just to remind myself I'll never fly
And sometimes I burn my arms with cigarettes
Just to pretend I won't scream when I die

[Chorus]
And if my life was as long as the moon's
I'd still be jealous of the sun
And if my life lasted only one day
I'd still be drunk by noon

[Verse 2]
And sometimes I can't wait to come down with cancer
At least then I'll get to watch TV all day
And on my deathbed I'll get all the answers
Even if all my questions are taken away

[Chorus]
If my life was as long as the moon's
I'd still be jealous of the sun
If my life lasted only one day
I'd still be drunk by noon