As I rode out through that sweet-scented valley
That runs by the printworks in Blackwatertown
I met a young maid who was proofing a galley
Who would ask me to help her find her way down

Who knew that my love would take me to the cleaners
When I put a few pennies into her purse?
Now when I look back on that slight misdemeanor
I see I was paying up front for my hearse

When mutton is led like a lamb to the altar
There's just no use crying over spilt milk
The storm clouds fill out when the mercury falters
For that purse was a pig's ear rather than silk

She vowed that such matters were all immaterial
That our bad behaviour was all in good fun
But fun has a way of becoming funereal
The horses fall short in the not-so-long run

So bring me two pintos for one painted lady
Bring me two chestnuts for her hair
And bring me two bays for her dealings so shady
And bring me two blacks for her black underwear

As I ride out through that sweet-scented valley
That runs by the printworks in Blackwatertown
If I meet a young maid who's proofing a galley
I'll ask her to help me find my way down