[Verse 1]
I couldn't say where she's comin' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
She strolled on over, said, "look here, bum
I got a forty-dollar bill saying you can't make me cum
You just can't do it"

[Verse 2]
She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum
I don't mind that she called me a bum
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
So I got down to it

[Verse 3]
I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
And applied rotation on her sugar plum
I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm

[Chorus]
Dinah-Moe Humm, Dinah-Moe Humm
Where's this Dinah-Moe comin' from
I done spent three hours and I ain't got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the Dinah-Moe Humm
[Bridge]
Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
And you ain't been to it (No, no, no, no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
And you ain't been to it (No, no, no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it (No, no, no, no, no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it (No!)

[Hook]
Cause I can't get into it unless I get out of it
And I gotta get out of it before I get into it
Cause I never get into it unless I get out of it
And I gotta be out of it to get myself into it

[Spoken Bridge 1]
She looked over at me with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
And she said, "just get me wasted and you're half-way there
Cause if my mind's tore up then my body don't care"
I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin and said
"My-my-my, what sort of thing might this lady get high upon?"
I checked out her sister who was holdin' the bet
And wondered what kind of trip the young lady was on
The forty-dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got naked and laid on the floor
She said, "Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little (ow) if I wasn't done yet"
[Break]
I told her, "just because the sun want a place in the sky
No reason to assume I wouldn't give her a try"

[Spoken Bridge 2]
So I pulled on her hair got her legs in the air
And asked if she had any cooties in there
(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)
She was buns-up kneelin' (buns up!)
I was wheelin' 'n dealin' (wheelin' and dealin' and ooh)
She surrender to the feelin' (she sweetly surrendered)
And she started in to squealin'
Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin' and her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down from the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition her sister was in
She quivered and quaked and clutched at herself
While her sister made a joke about her mental health
Till Dinah-Moe finally did give in
But I told her all she really needed was some discipline

[Spoken Bridge 3]
Kiss my aura, Dora
Mmm, it's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
And how 'bout you, Fauna? You wanna?
Mmm sound like you're chokin' on somethin' (oh)
Did you say you want some more?
Well, here's some more
[Instrumental Break ]
(Oh, baby)

[Spoken Bridge 4]
Oh, sure look
You think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?
(That's it, tweezers)
Mmm, tweezers!
Wait a minute, let me sterilize 'em, give me your lighter

[Verse 4]
I couldn't say where she's coming' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
She strolled on over, said, "look here, bum
I got a forty-dollar bill saying you can't make me cum
You just can't do it"

[Verse 5]
I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
And applied rotation on her sugar plum
I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
And you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm
Some Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm, Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe

[Outro]
Some Dinah-Moe and a little Dinah-Moe
And some Dinah-Moe and some Dinah-Moe
And some Dinah-Moe and a little Dinah-Moe
And some Dinah-Moe and some Dinah-Moe
And some Dinah-Moe and a Dinah-Moe again
And Dinah-Moe and Dora too, lil' Dinah 'n Dora
And Dinah-Moe, Kiss my aura, Dinah-Moe