You're the reason I'm riding 'round on recapped tires
And you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on wires

You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling
But looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But I love you just the same

You're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop
And you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop

You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling
But looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But, I love you just the same

I guess that we won't ever have, everything we need
'Cause when we get ahead, it's got another mouth to feed

And that's the reason my good looks and my figure is gone
And that's the reason I ain't got no hair to comb

And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling
But looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But, I love you just the same
And that's the reason my good looks and my figure is gone
And the reason I ain't got no hair to comb

And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling
But looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But, I love you just the same

You know, Vinny, not for nothing honey, You know them shorts you wear everyday? Yeah, can we retire them and maybe get a different pair of maybe long pants? Ain't it chilly?
Well take a look at your own self. That mirror's a good thing. Maybe, take them curlers out of your hair, put on a little bit of make up
Listen, the curlers make it poofy, it's a natural look
And that house coat looks like 1962
It's a muumuu, it's vintage, okay?
Oh it's a moo
Listen, I look natural, like a model in Vogue
Oh yeah, you're a model? What do you model, gloves?
Hey!
I still love you, baby
Well, I love you too, Vin, oh well, you're my bff, that's just the way it is
Big fat what?