[EAMON, spoken]
One, two, three, go! Say!

[EAMON & COMPANY]
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

[EAMON]
I walked into the chandler's shop, some candles for to buy
I looked around the chandler's shop but no one could I spy
Well, I was disappointed, so some angry words I said
Then I heard the sound of a... right above my head
Yes, I heard the sound of a... right above my head

Well, I was slick and I was quick, and up the stairs I sped
And much to my surprise I saw the chandler's wife in bed
And with her was another man of most gigantic size
And they were having a... right before my eyes
Yes, and they were having a... right before me eyes

Well, when the fun was over and done, the lady raised her head
And quite surprised was she to see me standing by the bed
"If you would be discreet, my lad, if you would be so kind
Well, I'll let you come up for some... whenever you feel inclined
Yes, I'll let you come up for some... whenever you feel inclined"

[EAMON & COMPANY]
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
[EAMON]
So, all you married men take heed, if ever you come to town
If you should leave your woman alone, be sure and tie her down
Or, if you would be kind to her, then sit her right there on the floor
And give her so much of the... she doesn't want any more
Yes, and give her so much of the... she doesn't want any more

[EAMON & COMPANY]
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

[EAMON, spoken]
Sing it louder!

[EAMON & COMPANY]
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh