[Chorus: Colin and Greg]
We wish you a ripper Christmas
A full-bore ripper Christmas
A dead-set ripper Christmas
And a snappy New Year

[Verse 1: Colin and Greg]
May the kids have a hoot
May the prezzies be beaut
From the big-bellied fella
In the red-and-white suit

[Chorus: Colin and Greg]
We wish you a ripper Christmas
A full-bore ripper Christmas
A dead-set ripper Christmas
And a snappy New Year

[Verse 2: Colin]
Send cards through the post
Have a big Christmas roast
Then hitch up the caravan
And shoot down the coast

[Chorus: Colin and Greg]
We wish you a ripper Christmas
A full-bore ripper Christmas
A dead-set ripper Christmas
And a snappy New Year
[Verse 3: Greg, Colin]
Great prezzies we bring
All wrapped up with string (String?)
They're not very expensive
But they're int-er-es-ting

[Chorus: Colin and Greg]
We wish you-
A full-bore-
A dead-set-
And a snappy New Year

[Interlude: Greg and vocalists]
Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin flew away
Billy-bunta-teeda-grunta
My-tee-yay-yay

[Verse 4: Colin and Greg, Colin]
With candles alight (*Chuckles*)
And faces so bright (*Chuckles*)
We'll sing lots of carols
Long into the night

[Chorus: Colin and Greg, Choir]
We wish you a ripper Christmas
A full-bore ripper Christmas
A dead-set ripper Christmas
And a snappy New Year
[Verse 5: Colin and Greg]
We'll hang up the holly
Be cheerful and jolly
And fill up our tum-tums
With lolly after lolly

[Chorus: Colin and Greg, Colin]
We wish you a ripper Christmas
A full-bore ripper Christmas
A dead-set ripper Christmas
And a snappy New Year (Boys-)
And a snappy New Year!