[Verse 1]
I started on a journey about a year ago
To a little town called Morrow in the state of Ohio
I've never been much of a traveler, and I really didn't know
That Morrow was the hardest place I'd ever try to go

[Verse 2]
So I went down to the station for my ticket and applied
For tips regarding Morrow, not expecting to be guyed
Said I, "My friend, I'd like to go to Morrow and return
No later than tomorrow, for I haven't time to burn"

[Verse 3]
Said he to me, "Now let me see if I have heard you right
You'd like to go to Morrow and return tomorrow night
You should have gone to Morrow yesterday and back today
For the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way

[Verse 4]
If you had gone to Morrow yesterday now don't you see
You could have gone to Morrow and returned today at three
For the train today to Morrow, if the schedule is right
Today it goes to Morrow and returns tomorrow night"

[Verse 5]
Said I, "My friend, it seems to me you're talkin' through your hat
There is a town named Morrow on the line now tell me that"
"There is," said he, "but take from me a quiet little tip
To go from here to Morrow is a 14-hour trip"
[Verse 6]
"The train today to Morrow leaves today at 8:35
At half-past ten tomorrow is the time it should arrive
So if from here to Morrow is a 14-hour jump
Can you go today to Morrow and get back today, you chump?"

[Verse 7]
Said I, "I'd like to go to Morrow, so can I go today
And get to Morrow by tonight if there is no delay?"
"Well, well," said he to me, "and I've got no more to say
Can't get anywhere tomorrow and get back again today"

[Verse 8]
Said I, "I guess you know it all, but kindly let me say
How can I get to Morrow if I leave this town today?"
Said he, "You cannot go to Morrow any more today
'Cause the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way"

[Verse 9]
I was so disappointed, I was mad enough to swear
The train had gone to Morrow and had left me standing there
That man was right in telling me that I was a howling jay
I could not go to Morrow so I guess in town I'll stay