Sitting at a red light
Down around Sunset
Girl pulled up beside me
In a candy-apple red Corvette
She pulled down her shades, gave me a wink
Gave her a little smile back
Then she laughed as she hit the gas
I remembered where I was at

'Cause it’s hard to be cool when you’re behind the wheel
Of an eight-passenger automobile
In a big bubble, cruisin’ down the street
With-a Barney blarin’ and a baby seat
Hey, it can be done, but I’m tellin’ you man
It’s hard to be cool in a minivan

I used to have a souped-up hotrod
Man I spared no costs
Two-eighty four, four-on-the-floor
Headers and dual-exhaust
About the time the family came
Well that’s the first thing that went
The preacher said, "For better or worse..."
Now I know just what he meant

'Cause it’s hard to be cool when you’re behind the wheel
Of an eight-passenger automobile
In a big bubble, cruisin’ down the street
With-a Barney blarin’ and a baby seat
Hey, it can be done, but I’m tellin’ you man
It’s hard to be cool in a minivan
Now, I wouldn’t change my life a bit
I’m a lucky man I know
Just wish my wife and kids could fit
In a ’67 GTO. Ho-ho-ho

'Cause it’s hard to be cool when you’re behind the wheel
Of an eight-passenger automobile
In a big bubble, cruisin’ down the street
With-a Barney blarin’ and a baby seat
Hey, it can be done, but I’m tellin’ you man
It’s hard to be cool in a minivan

Come on boys, can I hear an "Amen"?
It’s hard to be cool in a minivan

I'm tryin' to be cool
You kids keep it down back there
Don't make me pull this thing over
I mean it
Honey, I am not lost. I am NOT lost
I promise you, I know where I'm goin'