(Spoken)
Thank you, for my first encore I'd like to turn to a type of song... to a type of song that people like myself find ourselves subjected to with increasing frequency as time goes on, and that is the college "alma mater". You'll find yourself at a reunion of grads, and old undergrads, and eh... somebody will start croaking out one of these things and everyone will gradually join in. Each in his own key, of course, until the place is just soggy with nostalgia. Well, a typical such song might be called "Bright College Days" and might go like this:

(Sung)
Bright college days, oh, carefree days that fly
To thee we sing with our glasses raised on high
Let's drink a toast as each of us recalls
Ivy-covered professors in ivy-covered halls

Turn on the spigot
Pour the beer and swig it
And gaudeamus igit-ur

Here's to parties we tossed
To the games that we lost
(We shall claim that we won them some day)

To the girls young and sweet
To the spacious back seat
Of our roommate's beat up Chevrolet

To the beer and Benzedrine
To the way that the dean
Tried so hard to be pals with us all

To excuses we fibbed
To the papers we cribbed
From the genius who lived down the hall
To the tables down at Mory's
(Wherever that may be)
Let us drink a toast to all we love the best
We will sleep through all the lectures
And cheat on the exams
And we'll pass, and be forgotten with the rest

Oh, soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life
(Laughter)
[spoken] Ready?
(Laughter)

But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days

Hearts full of youth
Hearts full of truth
Six parts gin to one part vermouth