[Verse 1]
I bought a Tascam reel and a cast iron pan
A flask of Tequila, a fountain pen
A sexy typewriter, from way back when
I bid a fond farewell to my bestest friends
I packed my possessions in a U-Haul van
I soared, like a sailor to the promised land

[Pre-Chorus]
Once I saw the aqueducts and statues
I knew what I had to do
I'd do

[Chorus]
Do as the Romans do
Do as the Romans do

[Verse 2]
I found a one-bedroom with a bird's eye view
Rode the F train just to see Second Avenue
Where the bath house was bumpin' the dubstep blues
Swinging!
They're sipping cane sugar sodas and top shelf booze
Mix Ralph Lauren togas with thrift-shop shoes
Meeting 9 to 5 quotas with a-nothin' to lose
[Pre-Chorus 2]
They like to see pictures
They like captions
They like songs with lots of 'oohs'
That's how you do...do as the Romans do

[Chorus]
Do as the Romans do
Do as the Romans do
Do as the Romans do
Do as the Romans do

[Bridge]
Sing with the sirens
What do they tell you?
Isn't it lovely
When they scream?

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 3]
I showed up to the alley with my tin pan
With a middle finger stickin' up to the man
But the miners in the alley traded tin pans
For the Silicon Valley and a business plan
So I tattooed my face onto my hand
And unto my own image I built a brand
Now as soon as I have a million faceless fans
That's when I'mma start movin' those cheap head bands
[Pre-Chorus 3]
They like to see pictures
They like captions
They like songs with lots of
Talk about my social status
Add me to your list, I want to
These days we build empires in much less than one day
Oh yes, it's true
And you can too
As long as you do

[Chorus]
Do as the Romans do
Do as the Romans do
Do as the Romans do
Do as the Romans do
Do as the Romans
Do as the Romans
Do as the Romans
Do as the Romans
Do as the Romans
Do as the Romans
Do as the Romans
Do as the Romans do!