[Verse 1]
Two sad people walk down the street
''Where we gonna sit down?'' ''Where we gonna eat?''
Two sad people don't have much to say
Just ''How are you doing?'' or ''How was your day?''

[Chorus]
No more sad sad sappy love songs
About two sad people who can't get along
I want a glad glad happy love song
I'd even take a crappy love song like this one, oh!

[Verse 2]
Two sad people don't let each other down
You can't get much lower when you're on the ground
Two sad people don't fuss or fight, no no no no
Just a ''Roll over honey.'' and ''Turn off the light.''

[Chorus]
No more sad sad sappy love songs
About two sad people who can't get along
I want a glad glad happy love song
I'd even take a crappy love song like this one whoa

[Verse 3]
One sad person might cause a fuss
Say something stupid and mess it all up
Two sad people, that's a special thing
They're both blind from the shine of the wedding ring
Oh yeah
Two sad people don't need to rush
There's no need to hurry nothing to discuss
Two sad people, they can take their sweet time
And just creep on up to that finish line

[Chorus]
No more sad sad sappy love songs
About two sad people who can't get along
I want a glad glad happy love song
I'd even take a crappy love song like this one

[Outro]
Oh whoa yeah
Oh yeah
Ooh can't get along
Give me a happy love song
Happy love song oh yeah yeah
I even take a crappy love song
Like this one