[Skit]
Hello everybody, and good evening. Welcome to great moments in Redneck history. In 1708, a struggling carpenter named Cecil Simmons, was building a table and chairs for his family to eat on. After finishing the table and three chairs, he was running low on supplies. While working on the fourth, he completely ran out of lumber. He thought and thought, but had no ideas. Frustrated, he went to the barn behind his house to check on his whiskey mash, when he slipped and fell over an old wagon wheel and completely broke it in half. When he got off the ground, the idea hit him. He took the hash from the wagon wheel and connected it to the seat of the fourth chair, then he brought it inside. Dinner was a huge success. His kids played in the chair and after dessert, his wife Ethel used it to rock their newborn baby to sleep. He built a few more, and he put them on the front porch, just watch the sunsets. So we would like to thank Cecil for his contribution to society, for the world's first rocking chair

He’s drunk (laughs)

Oh, let me get out of here