[Skit]
Hello everybody and good evening. This is great moments in redneck history. I recall once a morning in 1893, Walter Baxley, a struggling carpenter, was building a cabin. He took a coffee break every few hours to stay warm. He left a spoon in a half-drinking cup of coffee and forgot about it when he left the job site. When he arrived the next day he pulled the spoon out and the frozen coffee was stuck to it. He thought, "What?" He tried it, it was amazing. That night when he got home he mixed some water, some sugar and added some sticks to the mixture before leaving it outside. The next morning was Christmas and the kids woke up to a frozen treat like they had never seen before. It truly made their holiday special. So on behalf of myself and all the rednecks in the world, I would like to say thank you Walter Baxley for the world's first popsicle

(He's drunk, ha ha ha, let me get out of here)