[Skit]
Hello everybody and good evening. This is great moments in redneck history. One spring morning in south Georgia, in 1898. Mrs. Hattie May Calhoun had just finished one of her scrumptious peach cobblers, and set it on the table to cool. But there was a big problem, every time she set the cobbler out to cool, flies would be all over it like mullets on rednecks. This inflames Hattie May. She tries swinging her hands, and her feet, even pots and pans. But those quick little insects were always one step ahead. She thought and thought, and then it clicked. She cut a piece of screen out of the screen door her husband Billy Bob was supposed to fix months ago and pasted it on a yard stick. The whole house was insect free in just a couple minutes. It was a marvelous, marvelous invention. You see, the flies could sense the air pressure from a solid object like a hand. Man she won that cobbler cook-off that year, but she did so much more for the entire human population. And I thank you, Mrs. Hattie May Calhoun, for the world's first, flyswatter. And this has been another great moment in redneck history

(He's drunk, ha ha ha, let me get out of here)