[Chorus: Rooster]
My first keg stand, didn't go like I planned, to say I did well would be a lie (Be a lie)
Oh my first keg stand, I did all I can, it almost brought a tear to my eye

[Verse 1: Uncle Snap]
Well I went out to my buddy Bill's
And he had a party in the back of a field
When I got there he was by a fire
And he had a whole keg of PBR
Now that there ain't my beer of choice
But when I saw that keg my lips got moist
And I thought I had me a good ole plan
I was gon' try my first keg stand

[Interlude]
Look at this man, you think you can do this?
That's a bad idea man, a bad idea
Can y'all get him?
Please, you may wanna first check his ID

[Chorus: Rooster]
My first keg stand, didn't go like I planned, to say I did well would be a lie (Be a lie)
Oh my first keg stand, I did all I can, it almost brought a tear to my eye

[Verse 2: Uncle Snap]
They lifted me up, and I grabbed the hose
And before I knew it beer was in my nose
And I had done soaked people from behind
They put me down without a second chance
And it looked like I'd peed my pants
And the dude told me I needed to go to the back of the line
[Interlude]
What you say to me?
No man I ain't worried about him
(Unintelligible) pretty big fella, ain't he?

[Verse 3: Uncle Snap]
I went to the back and I waitin' my turn
And the feelin' hit me and it started to burn
And I knew I had to give it one more shot
Then the girl in front stepped right up
And she must've weighed 350 plus (Oh)
And I'm tellin' all y'all old Bertha didn't spill a drop

[Interlude]
Who is he talkin' about?
See, see, that's why you lookin' at me like. eh
You don't know Bertha, she from way back in the woods
She been drinkin' since drinkin' since drinkin'

[Chorus: Rooster]
My first keg stand, didn't go like I planned, to say I did well would be a lie (Be a lie)
Oh my first keg stand, I did all I can, it almost brought a tear to my eye

[Verse 4: Uncle Snap]
It's my turn again, and I have no fear
Ain't nothin' better than an ice cold beer
And I can't (Uh-uh) stand losin', let me make that clear (Woo)
I was up so long I was turnin' red
And all my blood rushed to my head
But I was hangin' on for (Yeah) dear life like a leech
They put me down and called out my time
And it was one minute and thirty-five
And then they wanted me to say a speech
So I said (Say a speech)
[Chorus: Rooster]
My first keg stand, didn't go like I planned, to say I did well would be a lie (Be a lie)
But on my second keg stand, I did all I can, and I beat every man in here tonight (Here tonight)

[Outro]
Dang sure did, he didn't beat Old Bertha though
I give it to him man
I ain't seen nobody beat her in years now
He showed out
Good job though