Verse 1:
I once had a pig that loved me
And lived in a shed in the country
In a middle class district of Dunfries
But a sad kind of pig was he

CHORUS:
Pigs can't swim and Pigs can't fly
But pigs can see the wind go by
Pigs make lovely household friends
When winter comes and summer ends
Early in the morning
So early in the morning
So early in the morning
Before the break of day

Verse 2:
Each week that lofty beside
Would beg with eyes so misty
To take him over the England
His life dreams to fulfil

CHORUS

Verse 3:
He'd plunge into the channel
Swim to France would be his gamble
Florence Chadwick couldn't hold a candle
To such a darling Pig as he
CHORUS

Verse 4:
"Are you tired of me?" I asked him
"Will our friendship not be lastin'?"
But he told me I was graspin'
And he needed to be free

CHORUS

Verse 5:
"So will you take me there tomorrow?"
"In a pig's eye," I said with sorrow
So he drowned himself in the bathtub
Naughty boy, and I had pork chops for my tea

CHORUS