I had a big night last night
Drinking Molson X
And on the way home
I got three reX
I woke up this morning
Took 2 summon-x
That wife and mine
She's now my "x"

Well, I got myself evicted
From my duplex
Moved into a half-ton van, and then "X"
Fresh full of beer
My ole' dog reX
At least I got another wife
She's now my "X"

Chorus:
Merry Xmas, to me
The dog threw up all over the xmas tree
They re-posessed
My color TV
Merry Xmas, to me

My car's off the road
We're having D-fleX
I said to myself, "Geesh what next"
My wife dropped in
For "Alimony Checks"
So I threw her in the lake
Now she's my, wet X
(Chorus)
So I sat there drinking
All my Molson X
Shook in the empties
My ole' dog Rex
Stupid bloody mutt
Stuck his head in the moto-X
You guessed it
He's now my X, Rex