(Ladies and gentlemen
What you have just seen is an excerpt from a motion picture that was made in Japan
I'm sitting here chatting with Woody Allen, the author of this film
Uh, Woody, is the word "author" quite the correct word to use?
I mean, what exactly did you do with that film?)

Well, let me see if I can uh explain this to you accurately
They wanted in Hollywood to make the definitive spy picture

(Uh-huh)

And it came to me to supervise the project you know because I think that uh
If you know me at all you know that death is my bread

(Uh-huh)

And danger my butter
Oh no, no, danger is my bread and death is my butter
No, no, danger is my bread
Death, no, death
I'm sorry, death is my
Death and danger are my various breads and various butters

(Uh-huh)

So, we took a Japanese film made in Japan by Japanese actors and actresses, we bought it
And it's a great film, beautiful color, and there's raping and looting and killing in it
And I took out all the soundtrack and knocked out all their voices And I wrote a comedy
And I got together with some actors and actresses
And we put our comedy in where they were formerly raping and looting
And the result is a movie where people are running around uh, killing one another and you know doing all those James Bondian things
But what's coming out of their mouth is something wholly other
(I see, to my recollection I've never heard of that being done before where the actors would be acting one story and saying another)

Yes, it was, actually, it was done in "Gone With the Wind"
Not many people know that
That was, those were Japanese people actually and we dubbed in American voices on that, Southern voices

(Really?)

Mm-hmm, oh, yes

(Umm)

That was years ago, though during the war, and there have been many naval bases and things
So, you know it was kept quiet

(Well, be that as it may, do you think we could run this film now?)

Sure, watch this