Tobuscus
The Sideburns Song
Sideburns
On the side of my face
As my head turns
You can see they're in the same place
On either sideburns
They can't be replaced
My insides burn
When I think of the days
Before my...
My sideburns
Look at my sideburns
But don't touch my sideburns
Why would you do that?
My heart yearns
For my own sideburns
My side actually burns now
What is that?
What the hell man
Why does my side burn?
What the hell's going on?
My side burns
Does anybody have
Some aloe vera?
If you do, bring it backstage
I'll pay you back
1985
From the womb I came out
(On my birthday)
The doctor said
"What you crying about?"
I said, "Is that a rhetorical question?
You know why I cried
I have a serious lack of
Hair on the side
Of my head"
Little baby people
Don't have sideburns
They gotta grow them
When they're older
But if your little baby
Already has sideburns
That's awesome!
Don't be concerned
Don't be concerned
About your little bitty baby
With the big, big sideburns
You should not be
Concerned-acerned about
The little itty bitty baby
With the big, big sideburns
Your little baby gonna be a pimp
Your little baby gonna be a little baby pimp
You should probably discourage
That kind of profession
Because it's illegal
And your baby's too
Young to be concerned
About starting a business
But that's impressive
If it's got the mindset
My sideburns
Look at my sideburns
Back on track, talkin’
Talkin’ ‘bout sideburns!
My sideburns
Look at my sideburns
La lay la, la
Loo, loo
Sideburns
Sideburns