[Toby Turner]
Look at little Tim Tim
Tryin’ to write a viral song
He looks a little lost
Guess I could help him along

What you got, Tim Tim?

[Tim Tim]
Aah! My door!

[Toby Turner]
Never mind that, Tim
I've come to help, you won't regret it

Just follow the recipe
And gather the ingredients
Pick a topic people
Talk about on social media

Don't violate the terms of service
Or your vid will be deleted
Also, make a catchy chorus
Something that can be repeated:

Cats, cats, laughing babies
People falling, hot, hot ladies
Sleepy puppies, dancing babies
Kittens, monkeys, more hot ladies
Put a lot of words in one verse
Careful to enunciate it
Sing multiple layers
It helps if you animate it

[Tim Tim]
What do you mean, animate it?

[Toby Turner]
Um, what do you mean, "What do I mean?"

[Tim Tim]
You said animated, what do you mean by that?

[Toby Turner]
No, no, no, I don't think I said that at all

[Tim Tim]
Yeah, I think you definitely said that

[Toby Turner]
No, I think I'd remember if I said that, for sure, definitely

[Tim Tim]
Well, what'd you say?
[Toby Turner]
Well, I think it was probably something along the lines of, uh…

Cats, cats, laughing babies
People falling, hot, hot ladies
Sleepy puppies, dancing babies
Kittens, monkeys, more hot ladies

Put a lot of words in one verse
Careful to enunciate ((slurred)) it
Say something educational
So parents let their kids play it

Did you know that cashews come from a fruit?

[Tim Tim]
(What?)

[Toby Turner]
D-D-D Did you know that cashews come from a fruit?

[Tim Tim]
(How?)

[Toby Turner]
Ca-Ca-Ca Cashews, cashews, fru-fru-fru fruit!
[Tim Tim]
(What?!)

[Toby Turner]
D-D-D Did you know that?

[Tim Tim]
(No…)

[Toby Turner]
Did you know that cashews come from a fruit?

[Tim Tim]
(What?)

[Toby Turner]
D-D-D Did you know that cashews come from a fruit?

[Tim Tim]
(How?)

[Toby Turner]
Ca-Ca-Ca Cashews, cashews, fru-fru-fru fruit!

[Tim Tim]
(What?)

[Toby Turner]
D-D-D Did you know that?

[Tim Tim]
I… I said no. I said no. No

[Toby Turner]
It's okay, Tim, nobody blames you
Most people don't know the truth about the cashew
But now you do, so next time you go to the playground
Have everybody gather around and
Tell them what your good friend Tobuscus has taught you
Tell ‘em!

[Tim Tim]
Did you know that cashews come from a fruit?

[Toby Turner]
(That's right)

[Tim Tim]
D-D-D Did you know that cashews come from a fruit?

[Both]
Ca-Ca-Ca Cashews, cashews, fru-fru-fru fruit!

[Tim Tim]
D-D-D Did you know that?
No!

[Toby Turner]
Sing it!

[Kids]
Cashews, cashews, come from a fruit!

[Toby Turner]
Again!

[Kids]
Cashews, cashews, come from a fruit!

[Toby Turner]
Louder!

[Kids]
Cashews, cashews, come from a fruit!

[Toby Turner]
D-D-D Did you know that?

[Kids]
No!

[Tim Tim]
Okay, now get this stuff out of my parents’ house

[Toby Turner]
No, Tim, you're the one that asked for my help

[Tim Tim]
I didn't ask you for-

[Toby Turner]
Shh, you don't have to thank me, Tim Tim
Alright, I'm gonna get out of here, I'm gonna upload this to iTunes

[Tim Tim]
But I thought this was my viral song!

[Toby Turner]
You thought this was gonna be — no, it's not gonna be viral. It's a terrible song. I'm just telling you how to do it yourself, and that's why I charged you 500 dollars

[Tim Tim]
We didn't agree on 500 dollars!

[Toby Turner]
Ah, your voice is so annoying, man, it’s so annoying