Have you heard the one about the two tomatoes?
Yes, we have, a million times or more
The two tomatoes walking down the street
That's the one, we've heard it before

Maybe they would like to hear about the two tomatoes
No, they don't, it's such a big bore
But the two tomatoes can make you laugh and laugh and laugh
Well alright let's hear it for very last time
And then never again never again

Hеllo, I am Anders Tomato
This is my wife, Lisa Tomato
Taking a walk and having the talk
In thе marvelous place called Stockholm
(In a marvelous place called Stockholm)

Today on a way to see a splendid show
With the one and only The Real Group
It's gonna be great; don't wanna be late
We're dedicated fans of The Real Group
(We're dedicated fans of The Real Group)

Even if the story's kind of comical, it's also quite dramatic
Pay attention something terrible is soon to happen to Mrs. Tomato
In a second she will walk into the street not looking left or right
Completely unaware of an approaching vehicle
The truck was driving fast who doesn't see her
What will happen to Mrs. Tomato?
I'm driving yeah I'm driving down the road of life
And I call me Mr. Cucumber, woah
Yes I'm driving driving down the road of life
If you can call this a life, honey

But I just can't find no healer
In this big old 18-wheeler
Still I'm driving down the road of life, well
SPLAT!

What was that? I think I hit something
Yes indeed you did; you just ran over my wife, you idiot!
Officer Eggplant, Stockholm Police
Please step back; what seems to be the problem?

This maniac driver ran over my wife
Oh I see then you're under arrest (What?)
By the way did anyone call for an ambulance
You don't have to do that please let me through

Why I'm Dr. Celery; let me have a look
She's alive; she's breathing
Her heart is beating; what a relief
Oh doctor tell me she'll be fine
(Doctor doctor tell me she'll be fine)
Just give her a week or two and she'll recover
To a perfectly normal vegetable again
(A perfectly normal vegetable again)

Come on come on come on come on
Catch up come on Ketchup come on
Come on come on come on come on
Ketchup come on, ha ha ha ha ha

Hey Lisa we really gotta get going
But I don't want people to see me like this
I think you look absolutely smashing
Can't you see I'm in a total mess

You look find; I think you lost some weight
I feel like I just got run over by a truck
Please stop whining and pull yourself together
This is not a joke (Yes it is, yes it is)
I'm not a laughing matter (Yes you are, yes you are)
We'll you stop singing (No we won't, no we won't)
Why not? (It's our job; it's how we make our money)
I see, can I join you even if I'm a little flat?
Yes you can, yes you can cause you're very funny funny

Come on come on come on come on
Catch up come on Ketchup come on
Come on come on come on come on
Ketchup come on, ha ha ha ha ha
What a joke, what a laugh, what a punchline
The two tomatoes, the funniest thing in the world
If you by any chance didn't get it
Here's a recap, a summary for you

The two tomatoes walking down the street
In the marvelous city of Stockholm
First we have Mr. Anders Tomato
And next to him Mrs. Lisa Tomato

The two tomatoes are on the way to see
The most amazing show with The Real Group
Suddenly without a warning Mr. Cucumber
Drives his truck into Lisa Tomato
Splat!

In a second the tomato all red and round
Turns into a wet spot flat on the ground
Mr. Anders Tomato and Mr. Cucumber got into an argument
And would have started fighting

But Officer Eggplant, Stockholm Police arrested the reckless driver
And furthermore Dr. Celery luckily confirmed that Lisa Tomato was still alive
And well enough to be a part of a corny joke
Ha ha ha ha

Come on come on come on come on
Catch up come on Ketchup come on
Come on come on come on come on
Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha
Funny funny funny funny
Two tomatoes
Splat!