She left me with the herpes, oh, why did she do that?
Last night I sat upon a chair and gave it to the cat
The cat gave it to Rover and to the mousey too
The mousey gave it to the bird, I don't know what to do

Her mother said her daughter was a nice girl and refined
It must've been another girl, certainly not mine
That darling mother's wrong, she's the only girl I knew
Since Roosevelt won the election in 1932

She left me with thе herpes, evеn roaches won't come near
Mosquitoes will not bite me 'cause they sense my blood's not clear
My chamber maid is suing, and taking me to court
She cleaned my room the other day, and you know what she caught?

I left her with the herpes, like it was left for me
And there are many listening to this song who have the same, you see
The only good advice I give is take a book to bed
And let her take a blood test everyday that you are wed

She left me with the herpes, I don't know what to do
My life's a social wreck, Boo hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo

If anybody out there can come up with a cure
I'll leave her very first on mine, on that you can be sure