Better get the Xanax
'Cause I think I'm in a panic
And my brain is really getting fried
The kids are getting dumber
And it's really not a stunner
'Cause the evidence supports my finds

I mention German measles
'Cause my buddy's name is Weasel
And the only word I found to rhyme
But lately I've been thinking
That this ain't my line of business
And I'm just about to lose my mind

I gotta tell you that the level of discourse
Was pretty bad to start with, and it's getting worse
Par for the course

Houston, we have a problem
And we're running out of time
Houston, we have a problem
The kids are all out of their minds

Houston, we have a problem
And we're running out of time
Houston, we have a problem
The kids are all out of their minds
[Guitar lead]

I wanna tend my garden
While my girlfriend wears Eve Arden
And she bitches that we got no dough
Phillip's drinking whiskey
With a stripper he got frisky
Picked her up and fell and broke his toe

My nerves are really shot, and I've become unmanned
And I see I'm going pale beneath my tan
Where's my Ativan?

Houston, we have a problem
And we're running out of time
Houston, we have a problem
The kids are all out of their minds

Houston, we have a problem
And we're running out of time
Houston, we have a problem
The kids are all out of their minds
The kids are all out of their minds
They're all out of their minds