[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: Now?]

You know my girl⁠—

[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: Now?]

You know my girl just called me up
And she woke me from my sleep
You should have heard the things she said
You know, she hurt my feelings deep

I'm gonna buy me a dog

[DAVY JONES, Spoken: A dog?]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: A dog]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: Why?]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: Why?]

'Cause I need a friend now

[DAVY JONES, Spoken: Babe, you need all the friends you can get. I'm tellin' ya]

I'm gonna buy me a dog
My girl, my girl, no love me no how

[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: Don't ruin my song, man. It's the only song I have]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: Well it's already ruined before it was wrote]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: Where's the verse? Ah...]
She used to bring me my
My newspapers

[DAVY JONES, Spoken: You don't even know where it's at]

'Cause she knew where it was at
She used to keep me so contented
But I can teach a dog to do that!

I'm gonna buy me a dog

[DAVY JONES, Spoken: You couldn't teach a dog to do that, you can only train elephants]

'Cause I need a friend now (I need a friend now)
Now (Yeah)
I'm gonna buy me a dog

[DAVY JONES, Spoken: A dog. Here, Rover, Fido, Spot]

My girl, my girl, no love me no how

[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: One]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: Two]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: Three]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: Four. Six. Eight. Nine]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, hike!]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: Hike!]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: Hike!]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: I was late on that one]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: I just got back from Africa, you know, I was playing cards with the natives]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: Oh, Zulus?]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: No, I usually won. Ah-ah]

[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: Gee, I wish I had a glass of water]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: Why, you thirsty?]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: No, I wanna see if my neck leaks]

[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: I'd buy a raccoon, but John already has one]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: 35 bucks]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: Where do I come in?]
[?, Spoken: Get ready]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: Get ready, uh]

I'm gonna buy me a dog (Dog!)
A dog, hmm (Yeah!)
'Cause I need a friend now (Yeah, yeah)
Yeah, boop-boop-sh-bop-bop ram-a-lama
I'm gonna buy me a dog

[?, Spoken: Try the next verse]

When my girl
My girl don't love me no how
How
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: Now brown cow]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: How now brown cow]

[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: I think I’m gonna buy me a dog. Yes sir, I’m gonna buy me a dog. If I was looking for a word to describe what I’m gonna buy, I think "dog" would be the word!]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: Would it... would it be "dog"?]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: It would be "dog"]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: Definitely "dog"]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: It would come springing from my lips... "dog"]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: Springing from—]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: Boing! Boing! Boing!]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: Let’s get out of here, come on]
[MICKY DOLENZ, Spoken: It would be springing from my—]
[DAVY JONES, Spoken: Is that it, Tommy? Can you turn it off, please? Can somebody open the door and let us out? They’re coming to take us away, ha-ha, hee-hee, ha-ha]