[Verse 1]
I was shivering, I'll admit it
I had nothing better to do
Except to wheeze my lazy wheeze
Bernadette, where are you?
Bernadette, where are you?

[Verse 2]
She gets much acclamation
For such a self-ordained Faustian
Bernadette doesn't like doubters
She wants to fight in the coliseum

[Chorus]
What can you tell me of Thérèse and Isabelle?
Was it just fate that brought them together?
Or did they will their unusual union?
In cahoots, or love, or all of the above?
In cahoots, or love, or all of the above?
In cahoots, or love, or all of the above?

[Verse 3]
I was sputtering, but I got over it
After hours of tireless review
Under the gracious and analytical hands
Bernadette, I honor you
Bernadette, I honor you
Bernadette, I owe you some