Cut the sprinkler
My yard is dying
The reservoir, you know
It is piss poor

Meet the beetles that ate my pine trees
My chainsaw is I know a tortured soul
Inanimate parameters
Domestic dilemma
It’s just a fashion crisis

I’m ugly
I feel like a friggin’ tool
There’s a hole in my backyard cyclone fence
Where my big bad lazy dog used to goad

I am wilted!
I am stilted!
I am stilted!
I am stilted!

I’ll go get the latest of the Ladies Home Journal
I need some of those sinister little recipes
My neighbors thеy are filling up the filing cabinets
And I’m hungry as a bunch of jumping flеas
I am wilted!
I am stilted!
I am stilted!
I am stilted!