A devout and well respected man
Woe betide you if you wander from God's plan
Square shouldered, straight as a die
The righteous truth, he'll never tell you no lies

But when that old sun goes down
He's heading off up the wrong side of town
Eyes sparkle in the red light glow
Trouser pockets he's ready to go

Ooooooooooooh
Calm down, Mr. Apples
You're gonna do yourself in
Tell us where you've been

Head of the table at the Rotary club
Never unsure of which shoulders he should rub
Scout leader, a pillar of the Church, Capital Punishment
He wants to bring back the birch (of course, he does)

'Cause when that old sun goes down
Heading off under the wrong side of town
Eyes sparkle in the red light glow
Trouser pockets he's ready to go

Ooooooooooooh
Calm down, Mr. Apples
You're gonna do, you're gonna do yourself in
Oh tell us where you've been
And ooooooooooooh
Calm down, Mr. Apples
You're gonna wear yourself out
And what's it all about
Eyes sparkle in the red light glow
Trouser pockets he's ready to go

Ooooooooooooh
Calm down, Mr. Apples
You're gonna do, you're gonna do yourself in
Oh tell us where you've been
Ooooooooooooh
Calm down, Mr. Apples
You're gonna wear yourself out
And what's it all about
Ooooooooooooh
What's it all about
Ooooooooooooh
What's it all about

You're gonna wear yourself out
You're gonna wear yourself out