Somebody's watching me
And now I'm nervous, and I shouldn't be
Somebody's got their eye on me
Perhaps I should invite him up for tea?

We saw him smoking by the newspaper stand
There's something odd about his gloved left hand
Saw him again inside the old cafe
He makes us tense; we wish he'd go away

We are detective
We are select
We are detective
Come to collect

Somebody's after me
He left his footprints by the garden tree
Last night when I got home
I got the feeling I was not alone

Someone is on our tail
We think they're opening up our morning mail
And now each time the telephone rings
We think of frightening things

We are detective
We are select
We are detective
Come to collect
We dress up in disguise
To get away from all those prying eyes
Our friends all think we're mad
But we know better 'cos the spy is bad

We are detective
We are select
We are detective
Come to collect