I never thought it would happen
With me and the girl from Clapham
Out in the windy common
That night I ain't forgotten

Where she dealt out the rations
With some or other passions
I said "You are a lady"
"Perhaps," she said, "I may be"

We moved into a basement
With talks of our engagement
We stayed in by the telly
Although the room was smelly

We spent our time just kissing
The railway arms were missing
But love had got us hooked up
And all our time it took up

I got a job with Stanley
He said I’d come in handy
And he started me on Monday
So I had a bath on Sunday

I worked eleven hours
And bought the girl some flowers
She said she'd seen a doctor
And nothing now could stop her
I worked all through the winter
The weather brass and bitter
I put away a tenner
Each week to make her better

And when the time was ready
We had to sell the telly
Late evenings by the fire
And little kicks inside her

This morning at 4:50
I took her, rather nifty
Down to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later

She gave birth to a daughter
Within a year a walker
She looked just like her mother
If there could be another

And now she's two years older
Her mother’s with a soldier
She left me when my drinking
Became a proper stinking

The devil came and took me
From bar to street to bookie
No more nights by the telly
No more nights nappies smelling
Alone here in the kitchen
I feel there's something missing
I'd beg for some forgiveness
But begging's not my business

And she won't write a letter
Although I always tell her
And so it's my assumption
I'm really up the junction