[Verse 1]
Words fail, buildings tumble
The ground opens wide
Light beams down from heaven
She stands before my eyes

[Chorus 1]
She's actual size, but she seems much bigger to me
Squares may look distant in her rear view mirror
But they’re actual size, nationwide, believe

[Verse 2]
Big men often tremble
As they step aside
I thought I was big once
She changed my mind

[Chorus 2]
She's actual size, but she seems much bigger to me
I've never known anybody like her
She’s actual size, nationwide, believe

[John F., spoken]
Ladies and people of San Francisco, your drum solo satisfaction is very important to They Might Be Giants! This drum solo will be very closely monitored for your customer assurance. The estimated time of your customer drum solo satisfaction is currently fifteen to twenty minutes. If you'd like to hear this drum solo in Spanish, please press or say "two"!

[Audience]
Two!
[Drum solo, in a Latin rock style]

[John F., spoken]
For Mister Clyde Stubblefield of the James Brown band, press or say "three"!

[Audience]
Three!

[Drum solo in the style of Clyde Stubblefield]

[John F. spoken]
For Mister Gene Krupa, press or say "four"!

[Audience]
Four!

[Drum solo in the style of Gene Krupa]

[John F., spoken]
For Mister Mitch Mitchell of UK hitmakers the Jimi Hendrix Experience, press or say "five"!

[Audience]
Five!

[Drum solo in the style of Mitch Mitchell]
[John F., spoken]
For that angry guy from Grand Funk Railroad, as seen on VH1's Behind the Music, press or say "six"!

[Audience]
Six!

[Hickey plays Don Brewer's drum solo intro to "We're an American Band"]

[John F., spoken]
For any song by Stevie Wonder from 1974 'til 1985, press or say "seven"!

[Audience]
Seven!

[Drum solo in the style of Stevie Wonder songs]

[John F. spoken]
For Mister Buddy Rich, press or say "eight"!

[Audience]
Eight!

[Drum solo in the style of Buddy Rich]

[Audience, chanting]
Animal! Animal! Animal! Animal! Animal! Animal!
[John F. spoken]
For Animal from The Muppet Show, press or say "nine"!

[Audience]
Nine!

[Drum solo in the style of Animal]

[John F., spoken]
For any song by Stevie Wonder from 1984 'til now, press or say "ten"!

[Audience]
Ten!

[Drum solo in the style of a drum machine in a 1980s R&B song]

[John F., spoken]
To turn this mother out with Mister Dan Hickey from They Might Be Giants, press or say "eleven"!

[Audience]
Eleven!

[Drum solo begins]

[John F., spoken over drum solo]
Ladies and gentlemen, Dan Hickey is entirely self-medicated. His radical mood swings over the course of the show are completely determined by the audience response he receives during the next portion of the show. He's wearing ear plugs, he's playing the drums, but he's come all the way from New York City to hear each and every one of you scream. Ladies and gentlemen, he needs to hear you scream!

[Audience screams over drum solo]

[John F., spoken over drum solo]
I believe there are a couple of things I need to clarify one more time because I don’t know if you caught it the first time. He’s wearing ear plugs, ladies and gentlemen, he can barely hear himself. He's playing the drums, but he’s come all the way from New York City to hear you people scream!

[Audience screams louder over drum solo]

[Drum solo concludes]

[Singing resumes]
She-he-he's got all the all the money money couldn't buy
She's got something special that someone left behind
She says that she seems so much bigger to me
I’ve never known anybody like her
Actual size, nationwide, believe

Her face stands in portrait
On the post office wall
And she's stuck in my heart now
Where my blood belongs
Actual size, but she seems so much bigger to me
And squares may look distant in her rear view mirror
But they're actual size, nationwide, believe

[Spoken]
Dan, Dan, Dan, John, audience, Dan, Dan, Dan, John, audience