I buy my Grape Nuts at the Store,Yea (My Favorite!)
I went Retired down in Florida (Said "that’s it")
I Like the Weather where it’s Warmer (Big Cruise Ships)
Still wear a sweater while Indoors, Yea (Dag-nabbit!)
… And I say "Ohhh!" (OHHH!)
I Shake and Clench my Fist (Fist)
But the movement, Hurts my Wriiiiist…
I’m rubbing’ BENGAY all up on it, ’til the PAIN is Good & GONE! (Whoa)

And I say “Mmmmm”
I Like My Food mashed Uppp
Put my Dentures! in a cup!… (yeah)
Drop in some FIXADENT, to make my CHOMPERS shine

I sit on Benches with my Neighbor (He’s my Friend)
He used to be a Navy Sailor (Gilligan)
I write a Letter to the Mayor… (Wall Street Fan)
But Fall asleep 2 minutes later… (Nap Again)
Early Riser
Old & Wiser

Country Buffet
Early Bird Special
Gumming Spoonfuls of JELLO
And Boilin'-UP your Collard-Greens
Whats the Time? Ya never know the Time!!
… But STILL, you look FLY!
With the Suspenders on ya Shoulderrr!
Readin’ Stuff from the New Yorkerrr!
Some Body Parts are Drooping LOWER...
Ya Skin is giving off an Odor!!

I play my BINGO with a Dauber, (Yea, I Win)
Do my Aerobics in the Water (I Can't Swim)
I change the Channel with the Knobber (Flip that Switch!)
Can't find the Old Thingy-ma-Bobber (Where IS it?)

Ya Gotta Bunch of Grand Kids (Yea)
That's Where your Legacy Begins, "Grandad"
You gonna Teach ‘em how to Fish, and How to Grill
And every year you SEND 'EM Dollar Bills!!!
DOn't Be Discouraged!!!
THE Wifi Thing, is too dang Hard!
Your Face is Too Close to the Screen
While you Look Stuff up, On "The Google Machine"

I sit on Benches at the Mall now ("Hot Topic”)
Stare at the Models on the Wall now (She looks fit)
My Joints are Stiffer than a DOLL now (Can't Move It)
Call "Life Alert" in Case I Fall Down (Ow my Hip)

I walk around Using a Cane now (I Look Pimp)
My orthopedics stop the Pain now (No more Limp)
My knees get Achy when it Rains now (I smell Shrimp)
I get to Board First on the Plane Now-Now
Sinatra is my Favorite Singer! (Darn Tootin!)
Still got a Land Line with a Ringer! (Not Movin'!)
My Doctor Laughs All my Zingers, (Straight Shootin'!)
Then checks my Colon with his Fingers! (Full Moonin’)

I may be 80, but I'm Single (Still a Dish)
I got a Pill for my Libido (Now I'm Lit)
I met a Cutie playing Bingo (That's Gladys)
Invite her to Netflix and Plinko (Yea, That’s It!)