[Verse 1]
I'm climbing up your old staircase
And finding where you're ticklish
I clean you out of my fingernails
And paw you out of my dish
And in the doughy face days end
Once I licked your plate clean
You mutter on about infinity
I'm gonna show you what it means

[Chorus]
Like a pretty girl in a wheelchair
That still claims she fell down the stairs
But if he touches you again
With those grubby little hands
I'll have to break them
Like some lovely legs in braces
With toothy smiley faces
But if he gets chopped up to bits
Must have been an accident
Must be a reason, don't need a reason

[Post-Chorus]
'Cause I know where you live
And I know where you sleep
Will be cradle to the grave
Cradle to the grave you'll behave
[Verse 2]
And when I fall in your Christmas tree
The dinner party reveals
[In] me robin egg blue and livery red
I hate to spoil your meal
But when I stop the good times rolling
With my hot breath in your ear
You know daddy loves you all so very much, yeah
But daddy may be going away for a while, my dear

[Chorus]
Like a pretty girl in a wheelchair
That still claims she fell down the stairs
But if he paws on you again
With those hungry little hands
Might have to bait him
Like some gorgeous girl in bedlam
There's something you're not saying
So won't it feel good to admit
This isolated incident
Don't need a reason, I need a reason

[Instrumental Bridge]

[Verse 3]
I come home right on time
Calmly loosen my necktie
We stare at the wall watch
We're moving the furniture around
I come home first in line
Wanna loosen my necktie
But it's your world we live in
We're moving the furniture around
[Outro]
Spend the next forty years moving the thermostat around
Spend the next forty years moving the thermostat around
Spend the next forty years moving the thermostat around
Spend the next forty years moving the thermostat around