Stooping in the morning
Picking up the garbage littering her green lawn
Susan does the busywork, thinking that it's valuable
Yakking at the phone

Flipping through the channels, screaming at the wallpaper
Waiting for tomorrow
Underneath the shady trees, flip-flopping with Kmart ease
Clutching sugar that she borrowed

Good morning, future homemakers of America [x3]

Oh Mrs. Dishrag, won't you kiss me?

Susan's going crazy now
Dreaming 'bout movie stars featured in her magazines
Rearranging furniture
Wishing she was manager of her local Walgreens

Pondering the growth of mold sitting on her toilet bowl
Thinking about slitting her wrists
Diving through the window and yelling at a paperboy
Who doesn't even know she exists

Good morning, future homemakers of America [x3]
Oh Mrs. Dishrag, won't you kiss me?

Oh Calgon, take me away
(Future homemakers)

Oh Calgon, take me away
(Of America)
(Future homemakers)
[x6]

Oh Calgon, take me away

Calgon, take me away