I thought I’d have a baby
But my body said no
I tried and tried to have a baby
But you know that baby just would not grow

I’m wonderin’ where oh where is my baby?
Where oh where can you be?

I’ve been thinking about getting myself a dog
Maybe a labrador or even a spaniel
It won’t really be a substitute but, what the hell
Maybe we can have some fun anyway

I’ll take my dog to the park in a pram
And I might even send them on to school
We’ll go to the park and we’ll do lots and lots of little little uh doggy things
And maybe when he grows up he’ll even look a teeny weeny little bit like me

Take him on the roundabout and I’ll take him on the swings
And he’ll make lots and lots and lots of little little doggy friends
And you know I love my dog, I love my dog, I love my dog
He’ll go “bow wow wow, woof woof woof”
He’ll talk to me

But where oh where is my baby?
Where oh where can you be?
You know that life’s a bitch and then you die
Is there really anybody watching us there from the sky
What do you make of what’s going on?
I’m down to hear

I’ll take my dog to the park in a pram
And I might even send him on to school
We’ll go and we’ll do lots and lots and lots of little doggy things
Maybe when he grows up he’ll even be a bit of a rebel, like me

But where oh where is my baby?
Where oh where can you be?

(My baby is going down the plug hole
My baby is going down the drain)

Life goes on and somehow now I’ve got a baby, got a babydog
I’ve got a babydog, got a babydog
I’ve got a baby, I’ve got a babydog
I’ve got a babydog
I’ve got a baby, got a babydog
I’ve got a babydog

Take my dog to the park
But I’ll never put him in a pram
He chases balls and brings them back to me
He looks so happy
The best thing is you know I’ve never had to change one single nappy
Dog dog dog dog doggy dog doggy dog
Dog dog dog dog doggy dog doggy dog
Dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog

“Bow wow wow, woof woof woof”
He talks to me