PUNCH:
It was there, there
There in the chair by the fire
Slipped, fell
Cracked my head on the tile
Saw the blood
On the porcelain
Thought "bloody typical"
Ain't this?
There there
Love, don't you worry yourself
Keep schtum
Blame my ailing health
You think
That I'm done with you?
Get the Ouija board
Darling

Cause old Mr Punch
Will come scratching your cheeks
With his wandering hands
And his Cohiba reek
And he'll knock on your walls
And he'll wait in the night
And he'll hide in the closets
Of England
JUDY:
It was here, here
Here, by the fire, in his chair
Slipped, fell
Just a mishap, I swear
Came in
Saw him lying dead
Must have hurt his head
Falling
Don't! Don't!
Stay away, they're just children!
My God, please
It was an accident

TOGETHER:
Let's make
A nice cup of tea
Put the kettle on
Darling

CHORUS:
Old Mr. Punch
Hated women and cats and
Parking attendants and
Basic rate tax
Hated doctors, the welsh
Politicians and blacks
He's the last soul
That anyone wants to see back
But that Old Mr. Punch
Was a rum'un, no doubt
He's come for the girls
And he won't be cast out
In his tracksuit and chains
With his dangerous eye
In a caravan, waiting
For England
Oh Mr Punch
You're a charming devil, Mr Punch
You're a lovable rogue, Mr Punch
You're a comfortable monster

But you're dead Mr Punch
And the dead should stay dead Mr Punch
She's cracked open your head, Mr Punch
And it's time to let go, now

Back, back
Punch
To the caravan
Back, Back
Punch
To the Ballroom, go
Back, Back
Punch
To the Leeds side streets
Come out
Punch
Out of England

Back, back
Punch
To the marathon
Back, Back
Punch
To the spinal ward
Back, Back
Punch
Back To History
Come out
Punch
Out of England