When I was 10 I had a live in babysitter
She had a pet kangaroo
Wore big breasts and feathers
She gave me ice cream every time I screamed and hollered
And I loved her till I
Caught her sexing my father

She gonna hurt you daddy never again
She wasn't a friend
So I killed her
She gonna hurt you daddy never again
She wasn't a friend
So I killed her

When I was 13 the plumber stopped by
The house was flooding
And no one knew why
Within no time at all he got rid of the water
And I was grateful
Till I caught him plunging my mother

He gonna hurt you momma never again
He wasn't a friend
So I killed him
He gonna hurt you momma never again
He wasn't a friend
So I killed him
He gonna hurt your momma never again
He wasn't a friend
So I killed him
And I don't feel bad about it
Say what?
And I don't feel bad about it
These are my fondest childhood memories
I was just a kid
So they let me go despite the murders that I did
All grown up now as you can see
My parents are still happily married
Thanks to me

She gonna hurt you daddy never again
She wasn't a friend
So I killed her
She gonna hurt you daddy never again
She wasn't a friend
So I killed her

He gonna hurt you momma never again
He wasn't a friend
So I killed him
He gonna hurt you momma never again
He wasn't a friend
So I killed him

These are my fondest childhood memories