[Verse 1: Seth Putnam]
Guys used to always buy you drinks
And they'd always kiss your ass
Now you just have one tit
Ha ha, you stupid cunt

[Chorus: Seth Putnam]
I always hoped you'd get AIDS
But breast cancer will do
Now you've just got one tit
But you used to have two

[Verse 2: Seth Putnam]
A drunk guy tried to feel you up
But there was nothing there
So he punched you in the teeth
And stole your money, cunt

[Chorus: Seth Putnam]
I always hoped you'd get AIDS
But breast cancer will do
Now you've just got one tit
But you used to have two

[Spoken Outro: Josh Martin]
"Fuck! [?]
And it just ends with death, and-"