No one cares what you say
No one gives a shit about Norway
No one can stand the way you talk
Except your girlfriend, the greasy wop

Everyone mistakes you for a Jew
Your best friend is you
Everyone mistakes you for a Jew
Your best friend is you

You have hook nose like a fucking Jew
Your best friend is you
You have hook nose like a fucking Jew
Your best friend is you

No one cares about what you wrote
You're nothing but a spic, a 5 foot joke
Every show you book is a fucking flop
You're a fucking midget and your broad's a wop

No one cares what your last show drew
Your best friend is you
No one cares what your last show drew
Your best friend is you

You're about as tall as Tattoo
Your best friend is you
You're about as tall as Tattoo
Your best friend is you
Your favorite letter's F
Flunk you, flunked out of school
Flop every show that you do
Fail every class that you take
Friends, not one you can make