You have a mustache, you called me on the phone
You wear a beret and you sell colonge
You wear colonge but you still smell bad
You smell like shit from all the men that you've had

[Chorus:]
You sell colonge [x4]

You wear a gay suit, you have a mustache
You're always looking at your customers' ass
A freelance homo, you tried to sell to Sears
But you got kicked out because you're fucking queer

[Chorus]