You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You're a fugly piece of shit
You bring bendy straws to bathrooms
'Cause you like the taste of piss, Mr. Grinch
I wouldn't suck your dick if it was dipped in honey and could cure cancer
Also, you have no dick!

You're a dipshit, Mr. Grinch
Even babies want you dead
You've never brought home a woman
'Cause you're scared you'll wet the bed, Mr. Grinch
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote
"Bitch, dumpster, bitch!"

You're poor, Mr. Grinch
You can't afford the bus
You're deathly allergic to treenuts
And your exact address is this, Mr. Grinch:
1482 Mount Crumpit Boulevard, Whoville, Michigan
I mailed your bitch-ass a bag of nuts!

Let's just address that you are inbred, Mr. Grinch
You don't know how to read
I cannot stress enough how much you love to suck down pee, Mr. Grinch
According to an anonymous poll with a sample size of over three-thousand Whos, who were asked to rank you on a scale from one to a hundred based on traits such as likability, general odor, and physical attractiveness
The highest number we got was three!