I remember
Exiting the auditorium after hearing the approval of hundreds
Fingers in between my bow
Hands around the neck of my cello
Turning around the corner
To meet the ghost of my past
I looked like I had seen a foe
Not a friend
Last time I saw her
She was dead to me
And she left this place
Her existence erased
While I fended for a couplet of tears
And a couple of years
Not enough for peers
Could have cheered me up
More than she did.
So she did
‘Cause I remember when looked death in the eyes
While I was dead inside
A corpse with no bride.
Until she waved, “Hi”
And came alive
Though, could never be mine
I remember I forgot her for a reason
Had a not, I would be a wandering soul
Calling out to an abyss
Trying to find the friendship
I didn’t deserve

I remember
The days after
When I learned something new
How I almost died
Life ways away from me
The days after
When I learned something
How the car could’ve exploded
Lower body ways away from me
Detached from my upper body
The days after
When I learned something
How the object in the road
Not ways away from the car
Had torn through the engine
As well as the gas tank
The days after
When I learned something
How I escaped the reaper
And he didn’t have his way with me
That miracles were true
I remember when I learned something new

I remember
Traveling to the Philippines
For the third time
But the last time
For a third visit
But a last visit
For a sixth hug from my family
But a last hug from my family
For a sixth plane ride
But a last plane ride
What are chances of that
Me, not enough money, not enough time
To go back
And see them
As often as I want to
For a millionth time
Like a first time
I remember
When my uncle passed
I was numb
From the discussion of death
All these people I loved
Taken away from me
What more could ruin me?
I was numb
I succumbed to the inevitable truth
That my youth won’t last forever
And one day it’d be me
I was paralyzed
In my mind

I remember
March 13th
The day of my downfall
Death to 2020 we shouted
Losing friends
Losing family
Losing opportunities
Losing myself
Oh, I remember
I wanted 2020 in a room
To let me have at it
The things I’d do
That was the day life changed forever
As cliché as it sounds
I remember that awful year