[Intro: Cleveland Brown, Joe Swanson and Peter Griffin]
Quagmire
Quagmire
Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh-ooo

[Verse 1: Peter Griffin, Cleveland Brown, Cleveland Brown and Joe Swanson]
Your new romance has you lost in an Asian trance
So we're breaking the spell with a K-pop dance (Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo)
In our booty pants (Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo)

[Verse 2: Peter Griffin, Cleveland Brown and Cleveland Brown and Joe Swanson]
Everything in this land is complete nonsense
Even worse, Kim Jong-un lives across that fence (Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo)
Come home where you belong
Quahog is your home (Quagmire)

[Chorus: Peter Griffin, Cleveland Brown and Joe Swanson & Cleveland Brown]
Who wants to live in Korea? (Come home)
Their name sounds like gonorrhea (Go home)
So Quagmire please tell 'em, "See ya"
Come on, come on, come on home Quahog is your home (Boy)

[Verse 3: Peter Griffin, Cleveland Brown and Joe Swanson and Cleveland Brown]
Whiskey, steaks and giant bongs
Ricki Lake and Howie Long
Giant boobies firm and strong (Not here!)
Only in the U.S.A., eh
Come on home today (Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo)
[Bridge: Peter Griffin and All]
Confusing dance break
Random names of snacks now
Candy Quahog Marshmallow!
Candy Quahog Marshmallow!

[Chorus: Peter Griffin and Cleveland Brown and Joe Swanson & Cleveland Brown]
You only belong in Quahog (Come home)
You really love pussy, they eat dogs
So buddy, please run and don't jog
And come on, come on, come on home, Quahog is your home (Boy)

[Outro: Peter Griffin]
Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh-ooo
Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh
Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh-ooo

[Reprise]
Who wants to live in Korea?
Their name sounds like gonorrhea
Candy Quahog Marshmallow!
Candy Quahog Marshmallow!