[Eric Clapton]
When the day has begun
Put some of this on
Rogaine
If you got a bald spot
And wanna keep what you got
Rogaine
Your hairline
It's declinin'
You shine
Rogaine

[Tom Petty]
Don't come in my yard no more
You've ruined my lawn before
Whatever you kids are looking for
HEY!
Don't come in my yard no more

[KC and the Sunshine Band]
Girl, to dance with you is my favorite thing
Yeah
But when I hit the floor, I really feel the pain
Uh huh, so
I need to put on my, my, my orthopedic shoes
To boogie with you, yeah
I'm gonna put on my, my, my orthopedic shoes
To boogie with you, yeah
[Neil Diamond]
Jell-O again
Jell-O
I always eat Jell-O
I love that jiggly thing you do
You make lunch great
I can hardly wait
Jell-O

[Eagles]
On a dark country highway
Cool wind in your hair
Warm smell of a corn dog
Rising up through the air
You see a sign in the distance that says:
"We're open all day"
And if you walk up to the entrance
It's where you'll hear me say

I'm a greeter at Walmart in California
Yeah, I work the door at the superstore
I hand out stickers at a Walmart in California
Where my vest is blue and my hair is, too

[Garth Brooks]
My buddies and me were once wild and free
But now we ain't doin' so great
We used to go down and tear up the town
And now we're all in bed by eight
Our parties are fewer, we're sippin' Ensure
Instead of our glass of champagne
Now when we get together we just talk about the weather
And all we ever do is complain
'Cause all my friends have hip replacements
'Cause they slipped and fell in their garage or basement
We're old and pale
And our bones are frail
Yeah, years ago we were stealing bases
Now we spend our time having wheelchair races
Yeah, all my friends
Have hip replacements