Trevor Moore
What Was Wrong With Swiping
We don't have a lot of time in this place
A couple rotations as we're spinning through space
Life is short, that's the blessing and curse
When you're gone did you leave it better or worse?
Through your live or your ideas or your work or your art
Every single one of us does play a part
But there's only one for whom this song I sing
And it's the guy who invented those credit card chip reader things
Fuck you and your family
You fucking son of a bitch, eat shit and die
We were doing fine with those old credit cards
Then you invented this shit, please tell us why
What was wrong with swiping? (x4)
What was wrong with swiping?
(I really want to know) What was wrong with swiping?
What was wrong with swiping?
What was wrong with swiping?
And I don't wanna hear, "Well it actually makes it harder to steal your number
And it keeps you more secure from a cyber attack"
Well guess what? They're gonna figure out how to hack this shit too
And who cares? Nowadays the credit card companies just fucking pay you back
Something that used to just take seconds
Now easily takes a minute and a half
Multiply that by four transactions a day
That's six whole minutes that we won't get back
180 minutes a month, or
2,772 hours over the average lifetime
So you sentenced each and every one of us
To 115 days in the fucking Whole Foods line
What was wrong with swiping? (I'm trying to understand)
What was wrong with swiping?
What was wrong with swiping?
What was wrong with swiping?
Maybe you hate your kids
Maybe you hate your wife
Or maybe you feel that when you're at home
That it's strangling out your life
Maybe you make up reasons
To have to run out to the store
Maybe when you're done shopping
You just wanna stay some more
And as you're moving up in line
Getting closer to the cashier
Maybe the life you've made and must return to
Floods your mind with fear
Maybe you'd even sell your soul
For just an extra few minutes
'Cause that's the only reason I can think of
You'd invent this stupid shit
Fuck you and your family
I hope you die in front of your kids
And as the light of life leaves your eyes
You realize just what you did
'Cause of your stupid way to buy
I really wanna watch you pay
'Cause all you did with your time here
Is go and take our time away
What was wrong with swiping? (x 4)
Fuck you and your family
You fucking son of a bitch, eat shit and die
We were doing fine with those old credit cards
Then you invented this shit, please tell me why